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I am humbled by the responses I received in reply to my request for input on our family’s conflict between baseball and Easter. Many of you took time to give such thoughtful and positive suggestions. I could feel the emotion and caring behind so many of your ideas, and I appreciate your willingness to be open and share your comments with me.

What really touched my heart was hearing through your words how much you value your time with your children and that we all struggle with balancing our values and commitments. For the one guy who felt the need to rant about a “bogus religious holiday” and worshipping a “moon-cheese god” – I’m sorry but you missed the point completely. This conversation was about balancing what is important in our lives, whatever that may be to each one of us.

As it is with so many of our daily dilemmas, there is often not a right or wrong answer. Just good people making the best choices for the people they care about. This was not an exercise in finding the “right answer.” Rather it became a sharing of how we go about doing our best to follow our commitments to our families, our values, and the teams to which we choose to belong. Whether it is sports or work, there are things that take away from our time with our children. And some of us with older children are really feeling the tug of the future as our children grow up.

My appeal to you was coming from my place as a mother who is watching her son prepare to move out of our home. He hasn’t left the nest yet, but his days with us are numbered before he leaves for college and independence. I find myself wanting to celebrate all the little moments we have before he flies away.

I was surprised at the discovery of our dilemma, and I admit that I let myself become distracted by some previous struggles we have experienced with coaches. When I stopped to look at things from different perspectives, I was able to be open to understanding where the coach was coming from.

When I asked the coach about the timing of the trip, he explained that there were no options that would avoid the Easter conflict. (OK, I didn’t want to argue that one.) When he added that his wife wasn’t too happy about it either, suddenly I was able to see something I hadn’t seen before. I felt like the Grinch who Stole Christmas when “his heart grew three sizes that day.” This coach was asking his family (his wife and three young daughters) to make a sacrifice as well. His family is not going to have the Easter celebration of their choosing so that the coach can take my son and the rest of the team to Arizona for spring break. If I choose to look at it that way, I can see the generous gift my son is receiving from a coach who cares enough to take time away from his family for the sake of the team.

To top it off, he offered to provide transportation for any player who would like to attend church service on Easter. Now, that sounds like a solution that takes care of what we both care about. Although we each don’t get to enjoy our traditional family Easter celebrations, we will still be able to honor the importance of the day. And as so many of you recommended, this may turn out to be a growing experience for my son that could have a positive influence on him and others around him.

Our solution is that my son will be traveling to Arizona with his team because this is a very special time in his life and this experience is important to him. As with other challenges in my life, I can choose to focus on the good stuff. I will miss my son while he is not with us this Easter, but I will enjoy celebrating the day with my daughters and husband while my son enjoys time with his team using the gifts God has given him to be the best teammate and baseball player he can be.

Thank you again to all of you who have shared your thoughts and suggestions with me. Your input is a gift to others, and we are all better for the opportunity to understand your perspective. You make BioForce the rich, diverse, and caring family that we hope to be.

Your SportsMom,
Laura